Sunday, May 31, 2009

What Being a Mom Has Taught Me:

1. Red washcloths in the first aid kit keep the injured child calm while you asses whether or not to go to the ER.

2. Washing machines can and will beg for mercy.

3. Make them eat their veggies when the are small, and by the time they are 5 it will become 2nd nature.

4. A bad day can instantly be improved by ordering out Pizza.

5. 3, 219 washcloths will be used in 3 days.

6. If you send a child to bathe, make sure you state: "Use soap", or they will 'forget'.

7. Bowls of cereal for dinner is perfectly acceptable. As is feeding them left over lasnagna for breakfast. Just call it backwards day, and they will think you are clever instead of tired of cooking.

8. Cars eat sippy cups.

9. Naps are good for EVERYONE.

10. Nothing can make your foot hurt like stepping on a Lego in the middle of the night while sneaking in to play toothfairy.

11. Cats can choke on Polly Pocket shoes.

12. Kid + Tonka dump truck + hill = thrill ride and trip to Dr. Mom.

13. Spray on sun screen should have been invented 6 years ago.

14. The smell of cookies or cake will bring your husband and kids running faster than calling for them. Light a cookie scented candle and save your voice.

15. The wisest thing I've ever told my kids is that when the ice cream truck plays music, it means he's out of ice cream.

16. Neighbor's with empty nest syndrome make the best sitters. You can pay them in pie, too.

17. The day you hang your family's underware on the clothesline is the day you have unexpected company show up.

18. Play with your kids' toys while they are asleep and watch them try to figure out who built that Lego boat or rearranged the Barbie house. They think it's fairies!

19. Shut the dish/cable/ect. off. When the TV is associated with Friday nights and rainy days for movies, it becomes special and involves popcorn. Voila! Family memories!

20. Christmas morning is best spent in your own home.

21. Bake with your kids. The cookies taste better.

22. Smile. It makes you look less tired.

23. Have friends with kids. You can relax on the porch and visit while your kids fight. It's entertaining. You could make extra money by selling tickets.

24. Go ahead & beat your kids at Tic Tac Toe. They'll learn the tricks to the game and one day beat you!

25. Feed your kids chicken nuggets and french fries, put them to bed, and eat homemade fettuncini alfredo with your husband by candle light. Because once the kids grow up and move out, he'll still be there.


Maria said...

All brilliant points! Esp. the one about the ice cream truck.

Megan said...

What do you know that I happen to have all of my pregnancy "big girl" panties on the line this afternoon when my SIL, niece, and aunt all stop in for a visit! I tried to ignore the fact that my bloomers were flopping in the breeze...oh well, life goes on I suppose!

Rebecca Glaser said...

I enjoyed your wisdom acquired over the kid years. Was just thinking about you today and wanted to say hi and find out how you're doing. Can't find your phone number...